guests lister

so i've started working on a rough draft of the guests list just to find myself getting a headache and wanting to pull my hair out. i promised myself that there will be no more than 100 invited persons total, especially because i don't want to compromise the quality of the wedding reception site, just so i can accomodate more people - people who are, more likely, have really nothing to do with me and mike and/or with how our relationship bloomed and added color to our lives together. but my gah, as of this afternoon, the list already reached 130, not counting the people whom we might have "overlooked." i mean, of course, like i said, it's just a rough draft, and i can still do some cutting, and response rates will more likely not be 100% anyway, but still... the list doesn't include some people who might "resurface" and the people whom our parents would want to invite. errr, mike and i already had this huge argument this evening just discussing about it. let's just say that we were both frustrated to the point that both of us had dropped threats of just calling the whole wedding off. it's so hard for me to let go of my sentimentality and my fear of offending people; mike feels the same way. so now, it has become a matter of who gets to invite an "ordinary friend" while the other one has to give up giving an invitation to an "estranged relative."

like, seriously... am i supposed to invite his/her significant other also even though we barely know each other or we haven't even met? am i supposed to invite them just because we see each other everyday or on a regular frequest basis? am i supposed to invite their kids or their parents, too? am i supposed to invite them because they are one of my mommy's best friends? am i supposed to invite them because we happen to be related but haven't talked or seen each other for years?

it would be different if mike and i had all the money to spend on a one-day affair... but you see, it's not even just that. when mike and i first decided to have a church wedding, i envisioned it to be simply intimate. like, 50-75 persons intimate. just the closest family and the closest friends who strongly influenced me and mike's journey together... people who shaped us individually to become who we are as a couple. it's no secret to people who are truly close to us that in the five years that we have been together, mike and i did not have a fairytale story; it was more like an exhausting soap opera, actually. it hasn't been just a joyride for us; it never was. we didn't meet in the most romantic way, and our love story presented both the most beautiful beauty and the ugliest ugliness. because of our relationship, many people have been filtered out of our lives... only few remained a "family" and/or a "true friend," who accepted us unconditionally with no pre-judgements. only few have been able to understand the magnitude of our love, why mike and i belong to each other and only to each other, why we decided to marry each other to begin with, despite of all the ugly things that happened within and because of our relationship.

i think the event would just be much more gunuine if everyone who attend are only people who truly care, who truly can imagine how much of a lifetime blessing it is for us to spend the rest of our lives with each other. i really wouldn't want to invite anyone who will mainly view our wedding as just another event where they "have to" worry about spending money on a wedding gift... another dinner party that they "have to" sit through because it would be "impolite" to refuse an invitation, especially one for a wedding. at the same time, that's one less thing for me to worry about during the wedding day: if there are people who are un-entertained, un-interested, and just plain bored out of their minds during the reception or whatnot... because true family and friends do not come to the couple's wedding, expecting to be entertained and be well-fed or get anything out of the wedding, for that matter, but for them to give by adding even more "colors" to the couple's once-in-a-lifetime celebration.

*sighs* help?

I DO: hairdo

i know i should be worrying about the bigger details during this stage of our wedding preperations, but hmm... i think i'm seriously considering the feather look here. just the feather bridal comb, not the hairdo. the 'do's too prom-ish for me. i'm usually not big with putting anything that comes from animals on my hair, but with this one, i think i'll achieve that modern "vintage" look... that same look i intend for my bridal dress to exude.


an oversized silk flower on the side like this (me and val's weakness, and i think sheryll's also):




or a crawling vine like this:




okay, so now, imagine either the feather or the flower (instead of those big red flowers) with the veil hanging low from under a simple chignon like this:

i think the 'do above would look like this (below) if you remove the flowers, except the chignon is hanging a bit lower here:

i'm pretty set on the "sleek and low" look. actually, it kinda reminds me of the hairdo's you see in a miss universe pageant, doesn't it? very much modern "vintage"; just very simple and straighforward (no tricky curls or tease), yet still graceful and just screams out, "i am a woman!" as opposed to, "aw, look at me, i am so a princess! daddy's princess 4ever!"

after looking at these hairdo's, now i'm even tempted to drop the veil as well... just like how sheryll envisions herself walking down the aisle, as she mentioned in a previous post: veil-less... hehe, although my mother might say something. she already is somewhat against me not having the blusher. we shall see.

with or without veil, nonetheless, i am determined to go without any necklace or anything around my neck. just my plain old clavicle... maybe just a bit bronzed-up. i can imagine the beautiful contrast of my ivory dress against my bare copper-ed shoulders. then, just a classic pair of elaborate chandelier earrings... not sure what they'd look like exactlly.

so... from what you've seen above, any suggestions? bride's maids?

flower talk

this centerpiece is the closest look to how i've always envisioned it in my wedding. i may want creamy white flowers instead of the yellow ones. i am so into the cylinder vase with the flowers submerged in water. when i worked at wynn for a couple of months, everyday that i went to work and saw their floral arrangements, i found myself in awe of these beautiful lively orchids submerged in huge clear cylinder vases. i love the ambiance they give. minimalistic, just sharp and clean yet still feminine and sophisticated. i remember when i first saw this photo on theknot, i immediately emailed it to valerie (one of my 'maids and my exclusive wedding designer ;). we got super excited because we confirmed that calla lillies can be submerged in water without rotting or dying or something... i intend calla lillies to be a "theme" flower, by the way. again, it's great for the contemporary look that i'm going for.

another great thing about having a contemporary theme: the floral arrangements won't have to be so ornate. i am determined to do the flower arrangements myself. well, hopefully with the help of my bride's maids. this would save me so much money. a simple bridal bouquet from flower shops runs around $200 nowadays. then, add those of my brides' maids. i don't know, but it would be a ridiculous amount of money to spend on flowers. the cool thing is, today, i found out that one of the biggest online wholesaler of fresh flowers is based here in vegas. their warehouse is on dean martin dr., about five miles from where we live. not that it would make very much difference because they have free shipping anyway, but at least, if worse comes to worse, i can come "inspect" or maybe even pick out the flowers myself when i order from them.

for my bouquet, i want something like this... white french tulips (maybe orange for the "fall" look) but with a bit longer stems:

And for my bridesmaids, something like what she's holding, but less stems. valerie and i are thinking of maybe a slender bouquet of 5 long stems of full-sized calla lillies per bride's maid.

Say Hello to...

Rene Gaviola

let me tell you: mike and i are so proud and feel privileged to have him do the photography. okay, so some friends have commented that i've gone a little crazy and nitpicky about the photography that i even found the need to "import" a photographer from the philippines. but hello, why wouldn't i? the wedding lasts only a day, but the photos last forever. i was looking for more than a photographer; more than anything, i desire an artist. anyone can "take" a picture with just one press of the button, but it takes precision and artistry to capture the meaning of the moment. and with the rates of photography services nowadays, especially of those photographers based here in the states, i better get the best quality i can get for my money's (actually, make that mike's money. hehe!) worth.

plus, an added bonus: kuya rene is such a cool kid. hehe! seriously, though. i think one of the most overlooked factor when couples are looking for their wedding photographer(s) is the level of comfort that they feel with the photographer... you want someone taking your photos whom you can have fun with. after all, your wedding is, or at least, should be a joy- and fun-filled event. especially with the post-wedding engagement/bridal shoot that we are planning to do? ;) oh yeah, go check his blog about trashing the dress.

seven months away

yeah, i know. i know. where have i been? it's been almost four weeks since my last blog. for the past three weeks, i've been busy being miss shen hui, that's what. i was selected to be a part of an awesome Good Friday production at our church. omg, hours long of practice every (week)night. as you can imagine, i haven't had the privilege to just stay at home and sit in front of my computer... but it was well worth it! the experience was very challanging yet rewarding. i had to play the role of a Chinese girl in the Vietnam War era, who got married to an American soldier but lost their first child - an unhealthy baby girl - because of China's stringent one-child policy, causing her to lose her sanity. i had to display all kinds of extreme bipolar emotions within a couple of minutes... and i am not an actress! it was crrrrazy! but the play, specifically the actors' performances, got many great feedbacks. tsk, only by grace, i'm tellin' ya.

anyhow, now, i'm trying to get back on track with this whole wedding thing. not only until these past couple of days did i start to realize that The date is a little over 7 months away. i am so panicking. i still haven't found our ceremony site; actually, most of the major decisions have yet to be made. we don't even have our bridal party finalized! *hyperventilating* i'm hoping that this weekend or the next, mike and i would be able to visit at least a couple of bigger christian churches, where we can hold the ceremony, but it already looks like this weekend will also be pretty full for us. the good thing is, starting last weekend, mike and i both have saturdays and sunday off together, and it will be like that for a good 3 months. at least, it will be perfect for the critical planning and coordinating phase of the wedding...

ehhh, i don't know! i feel so disorganized and overwhelmed right now... although i have accomplished something for the wedding that i'm definitely very excited about! i'm very excited because this is *hint* something that i've been ranting and whining about in my past blogs... and because i'm so hyped about this, i just totally feel the need to put this in a totally separate blog... so please proceed to my next blog. =)